S.A.I.L. presentation offers tips for tact

SAIL presented a seminar called, "You say Tomato, I say Tomato" on effective communication skills on Tuesday Feb. 27 in Sykes Student Union. The presentation was given by senior Selinda Lehneis who is in her second year as a leadership consultant. Lehneis told students that some of the most important aspects of communication are, "knowing when to say things, when not to interrupt and how to be effectively assertive instead of harmfully assertive."

She then began the presentation by handing out packets on the many aspects of communication to those in attendance. The packet started with a short poem entitled "Watch What You Say," by Henry Lasser.

The poem began, "In the course of your conversation each and every day, think twice, try to be careful of what you have to say; your remarks may be picked up by someone's listening ear, you may be surprised at what some people think they hear."

Lehneis reminded the audience members that every little thing a person says is important, especially if they are a leader on campus. A person may believe he or she is communicating to just one person, but in actuality, others may hear as well.

"Even the smallest things you say can have a big impact on your organization," Lehneis said.

Next, Lehneis discussed the three aspects of communication: verbal, nonverbal and listening. She focused on listening skills and said, "I think it is probably the most overlooked aspect of communication." She explained that many people are often too busy formulating a rebuttal in their minds to listen to what someone is actually saying.

In order to practice good listening skills, one must defer his or her judgment, listen completely and pay most attention to content. It is also important to do one thing at a time, not allow emotional reactions to govern behavior and to give affirmative statements.

The next items discussed were the differences between male and female communication. Lehneis said it is important to keep these differences in mind because a person is almost always going to have to work with people of both sexes.

One of the biggest differences between men and women is that women ask more questions then men. Females also ask more tag questions such as "good movie wasn't it?" in order to keep the conversation going.

The final topic of discussion was public speaking, which is something that frightens a lot of people.

"It is really important to rehearse and to know your target audience," Lehneis said.

Also, she told students to never apologize when they are nervous. Nervousness is understandable, but when a person apologizes for it, it shows a lack of self-confidence. "Fake the confidence even if you are scared to death on the inside," Lehneis said.

Lehneis asked students in the audience to share some of their personal experiences with public speaking. She then shared some of her own insights on the topic.

"I find it easier to speak in front of strangers than friends," she said. "If I can get down my speech in front of friends, then I know I will be fine in front of strangers."

Some other tips for public speaking include being familiar with the audience, the material and the place in which you are speaking. Also, a person should relax and turn nervousness into positive energy. Finally, she said that a person should realize that people want him or her to succeed.